Marine Kelley - Keeping it Real
Perceptions in Second Life, as in real life, play an important role in what we think about the people we meet, and about the people we haven't met, and the things we have or haven't done etc .. and go a long way towards building reputations.
Meet Marine Kelley... She's smart, intelligent, friendly and just happens to be the creator of the notorious Real Restraint brand, and developer of the infamous Restrained Life Viewer.
Real Restraint and Restrained Life have added an extra dimension and realism to BDSM in SecondLife. The Real Restraint items are as the name suggests .. real restraints, and are designed to give the Dom(me) more control. When a set of cuffs are put on a sub they are locked and only the person holding the keys can unlock them. This has given rise to tales of abuse within SecondLife.
Stories of subs being left in isolation for weeks on end, and how Real Restraint and Restrained Life can lead to greater emotional damage have done the rounds in SL, and this has led to a somewhat dark and sinister reputation for Marine Kelley, and the innovations she has helped to develop. But as in all reputations you don't get the full story, and as Marine herself says..."You don't need restraints, or even to be a sub to be harmed by careless people here in SL, or even in any virtual world or text based chat room."
And of course, the Restrained Life Viewer is consensual. Freedom from the control and restraints that Restrained Life offer can simply be achieved by not using it. The normal SL viewer will always still be there ... and for people that enjoy an extra realism to their BDSM play in Second Life.... Restrained Life and Real Restraint products offer a unique, and fun way to achieve that.
Real Restraint = A Restrained Life
The Real Restraint product line was Marine's first project in SL. She made the first realistic set of handcuffs in November 2006, based on the replica Hyatt Police Handcuff she had at home, and started selling them in January of 2007. After the cuffs Marine went on to make other realistic items of restraint including an armbinder and a lockable slave crate! Realism has always been the primary focus of her work, and being a computer programmer in real life, she had the means and the capabilities to develop a patch of code that would alter the SL operating system, and take SL realism to an even greater level.
The Restrained Life Viewer (RLV) was developed later in 2007, due to a growing demand for more control in SL. It was actually Amethyst Rosenscrans that sowed the first seeds, when she explained to Marine her experiences in the 2D chat game Sociolotron. Sociolotron is a world where an avatar can really be controlled and overpowered by other avatars, to the point of being restrained, raped, sold or even killed.
This wasn't possible in SL, and it was that discussion, and a request from a friend that started out as a joke that led to the starting point of the Restrained Life viewer.. as Marine says "As a joke I made my friend believe I worked for LindenLab. She actually believed it and asked me out of the blue "couldn't you ask your colleagues to make our restraints undetachable?" (gawd she didn't realize what she was asking for. lol)".
No she didn't, and now the Restrained Life Viewer is getting ever more popular with other designers and creators scrambling to make their products "RLV-compatible", and its opening a whole new set of avenues to explore.
Bane - The Banishment Program
The new capabilities that Restrained Life affords to SL has opened up the chance to nurture a new kind of experience. And to put this to the test Marine has created The Banishment Program, a role play based on a story by EvilDolly called Eudeamon. Eudeamon takes place in a near future city that experiments with a new kind of incarceration, based on isolation. It's a similar scenario to ancient times, where crime perpetrators were banished from their villages, except that here, they are condemned to stay in the city, prisoner of their own "bane suit" (a latex catsuit rigged with a neural computer that watches and punishes the prisoner).
The condemned are banished to wander without being able to communicate, enter buildings or do work for anybody. Constantly alone. But then, something happens with the neural computer of some of the banes (short for "banished"), and things go haywire. Its an intriguing story, and Marine wanted to make the experience as real as possible in SecondLife.
Marine herself admits that its really an extreme form of bondage. "Imagine your SL you, your avatar, unable to send or receive IM's, to chat, to enter structures, to fly, to run, to sit anywhere .Your face, removed from you, your name, a number, your body, just black featureless latex.".
The initial sentence of banishment goes from 24 online hours to 96 online hours... and every 7 hours there is an update. When violations are made, extra hours are added to the sentence. On average the time of a sentence will go up by 150% before completion, and that all depends on how well the banished avatar behaves. Marine says one person completed the program without scoring a single violation, and was successfully released after the initial time, and another person not so successful, managed to multiple the length of her sentence by ten!
Well ... As you can see Marine Kelley is pushing the limits of realism in Second Life BDSM further than anyone has attempted before, and we caught up with her and asked for her thoughts on BDSM and D/s, and she gave us some great advice.
webMaster: Hi Marine .. What does BDSM mean to you?
Marine Kelley: Well, BDSM are four letters that define three different acronyms. Bondage and Discipline, Domination and Submission, and Sadism and Masochism. I am very much into Bondage (in RL too), very much into Discipline (both in RL and in SL), a little into Domination (only in SL) and into Submission (in SL and RL). Not at all in Masochism. To me giving the gift of submission to someone, be it my husband in RL or my friends /partners in SL, is the greatest gift of all. You give yourself, your trust and your vulnerability to someone and by doing so, you entitle them with your trust and love .... and respect and admiration, too, since when doing so you expect to rise up yourself thanks to them.
webMaster: Yes indeed... What is it about bondage that appeals to you?
Marine Kelley: Lots of things... the feeling of helplessness first, that whatever happens I have no other choice than to face it... it's a real school of self confidence. The feeling of safety (I know it's strange). I am bound, hence I am out of this world, unable to do anything, so safe from any blame to put on me. On top of it, someone cares for me and looks after my well being. Lastly, the feeling of inferiority. I am someone who could be seen as a predator to most people, bondage and submission teach me humility.
webMaster: I see yes ..I've heard many times of career dominant people that are submissive behind closed doors...
Marine Kelley: Well yes. If someone is dominant in everyday life, its quite understandable to enjoy the act of letting go. Its a release. Actually, one of my best SL friends once told me "True Mistresses are true slaves" (she's a Domme usually, and a very good one, but is a switch at heart). You have to know the other side if you wish to use it properly and to make your sub thrive within your control.
webMaster: Sure yeah... I've heard the adage that the best Doms have had a spell as being subs.. So what else would you say makes a good Master/Mistress?.
Marine Kelley: Well ...firstly a Dom/me must enjoy Domming. I'm speaking solely from my SL experience, though, since I'm not a BDSM lifestyler. S/He must know what it takes to handle a sub, for it is not only issuing orders and whipping. S/He must remember that the sub gives herself (or himself) and is hoping things in return, but will never say what. S/He must keep in mind that the sub is likely to be broken should the Dom/me be too careless with their punishments and challenges. S/He must also make the sub thrive, as I said, thanks to them. Submitting to someone, in a way, is equivalent to giving them the keys to your mind, heart and soul... for something like a "reprogrammation" (I hate that word, but you understand the concept). It's like going to talk to the shrink, and the Dom/me makes the sub go beyond themselves, by putting challenges they could not take if they had a choice.
webMaster: Its Interesting that you say the sub is hoping for something.. but will never say what.....
Marine Kelley: Yes, and that's very important to understand. People have limits, and people want to go beyond them to get better. Either by themselves (most of the time), or by asking someone to make them do it (subs to Doms). But, there are states of mind you enter in, when pushed far enough, and you're unable to express your feelings. You want more and more, careless of your own well being (I'm speaking of the sub here, sorry I'm constantly switching).
webMaster: I see yes..are you talking about masochism .. and the pain barrier?
Marine Kelley: Not necessarily.. Let me give you an example.. I have a lot of limits in SL myself, the hardest one being "no cyber" (I am married, cybersex is like real sex to me, and I don't cheat on him ever). There was a time... when I was tempted, though. And if my owner did not have the self control to refrain me and herself... I'd have done it. Several times. (and I hear people saying "SL is not real". My ass.).
webMaster: Yes I know what you mean ... cybersex tends to lead to emotional bonds, which can lead to fractures or break downs in RL relationships?
Marine Kelley: Exactly...and it is really hard to refrain yourself when you have been pushed for hours or even days, constantly horny and almost cumming at a single word from your owner... I've known that. It takes some serious control ...and not only self control, but discipline from the top. The sub needs that, and when done properly it reinforces the bond, and the submission.
webMaster: Smiles... So isn't that kind of masochism?
Marine Kelley: Well yes and no ... I like to challenge myself, and many people are like me. If I cross the limit I lose...it's like blackjack, so to speak :)
webMaster: Ok... In pain play subs get pushed into so called Subspace...
Marine Kelley: No, pain has nothing to do with it... Subspace is a state of mind in which you have surrendered all control to your owner. Pain can be a tool, but is not necessary to achieve it. It also comes from the fact that subspace brings horniness, hence adrenalin, hence pain tolerance. Pain for instance is more tolerated, but your body stays the same, and it is true that pain brings adrenalin too. It's like a vicious circle if not done right. The sub literally begs for more pain, not realizing she's putting herself in danger. It takes a Dom (with a big D) to recognize those signals and to stop. But even without pain, subspace can be achieved. I know this state of mind very well myself.
webMaster: I see... so subspace is brought on more by the thrill of surrendering complete control, rather than a physical reaction?
Marine Kelley: I think it's the first option, but there is certainly a little bit of the second one, too. You see, when in subspace I react like a young girl, under the care of her older sister / brother, and what puts me even deeper into subspace is denial. I always say that subs never get what they ask for. lol...of course that's not entirely true. They never get what they don't deserve. So its up to the Dom to make it harder or easier for the sub to get something she wants. That's the thrill of surrendering control. And to truly enjoy what I'm given, for I have deserved it for sure.
webMaster: I see yes...
Marine Kelley: It doesn't depend on you but on your owner..who has to inspire your respect, awe, admiration, and who you want to learn from. You don't submit to just anybody, and certainly not to someone who can't bring you anything. That would only lead to frustration, and would even be dangerous. Since that person could be less experienced than you, and not interpret what you crave for well. It can lead to a disaster sometimes. For what it's worth, I see the Master/slave relationship exactly like the Professor/student one. No more no less. The Master speaks, the slave listens. Well the sub more than the slave (slavery is not something people are looking for, even if they think so).
webMaster: Yes ... So then would you say that its respect that commands control over a sub?
Marine Kelley: Exactly
webMaster: And what commands respect?
Marine Kelley: Righteousness, care, intelligence, willpower, niceness (even if they like to be a total bitch sometimes. lol)... and a playful and wicked mind.
webMaster: Ok great .... So what advice would you give to someone new to BDSM in both RL and SL?
Marine Kelley: In RL, be very careful who you're having your first experience with. Also read, a lot of websites are going very deeply in the subject, which is a very complex one (we're going over psychology, fantasies, mind control and physical training there). Don't hesitate to talk with your partner, do not engage in a lifestyle unless you've had years of non-lifestyle experience behind you (casual bondage, short sessions and such). In SL that's different. Go have fun, burn yourself a couple of times, take nothing seriously, make friends... and then start wondering about yourself. Talk around, ask people who know what it takes to be a dom or a sub, and don't make the same mistake twice. In SL you're only risking your pride, while in RL you're risking your life.
webMaster: Nice answer ... Where would you say is the best place in SL to learn about BDSM?
Marine Kelley: Your partner...most people mistake BDSM with RP here, but I don't see it that way, that's why I would not recommend a prison. Observe people in public BDSM places such as Bondage Ranch or Bondage Playground, but do not expect great sessions. Some people get out of the rank from time to time, though. The BDSM School For Submissive's is a nice place, but last time I went there was more than a year ago. I know that Bondage Playground organizes good BDSM classes, every tuesday... and yes, I would definitely say, "your partner".
webMaster: Ok great .. and finally ... Have you anything else you'd like to add?
Marine Kelley: Yes ... SL may be a virtual world, but emotions are real. Be careful, but also don't forget you're here to have fun first. So drama should not be part of your life. Say No To Drama !
Very Nice .. Well thanks for the insights Marine ... If anyone out there wants a virtual bondage experience that's a close to real life as you can get.. download the Restrained viewer .. get some Real Restraints and take a look at The Banishment Program!! See you inworld!
Disclaimer
Virtual-BDSM is in no way, shape or form associated with Linden Lab.Second Life® and Linden Lab® are registered trademarks of Linden Research, Inc. No infringement is intended.
Second Life-BDSM archive
SECOND LIFE TIPS
BDSM TIPS
SL BDSM INTERVIEWS
Bull Hynes - SL slave auctions
Angelica Pickles - BDSM School
Marine Kelley - Restrained Life
MISCELLANEOUS
Being a responsible business in SL
Yggsdrill designs bring you some highly original BDSM play things. Needleplay is exquisitly designed and is a must for any BDSM'er in SL.
Only 450 L$ at the Virtual-BDSM Hub
